On flossing

I was advised by my dental hygienist yesterday that, amongst other ungainly activities, it would be advisable for me to take up flossing. At least four times a week, she said.

My first reaction was, where does this four times a week thing come from? Is it possible that she is using a psychological trick on me, whereby if she had said "once a week" or "every day" I wouldn't have taken her seriously, but because she came up with the unlikely, and therefore scientific-sounding "four times a week", I am more likely to treat her as the serious professional she is, and take her at her word?

My second reaction occurred only now, when I remembered to floss in a systematic manner for the first time. And that reaction was - this is a really unpleasant activity. It is like taking nose-picking (which is actually quite pleasurable) to a whole new level of pedantry, where rather than just shoving your finger in and having a good scratch of the passages, you are forced to meticulously clean nasal hair by nasal hair, every femtometre of the membranous lining, with an awkward tool unsuited to such tasks (in the way that the human finger, thanks to the miracles of evolution, unquestionably is). It is also excruciatingly boring. And I am speaking as someone with patience of steel - indeed, I once had a job where for three months I had to check that documents (128 boxes of documents, to be precise) were arranged in (seven-digit) numerical order.

I don't know how long this flossing this is going to last. I will be sure to keep you posted.